Call Me By Your Name and Writing Heartbreak
Tips for writing stories where your character suffers emotional loss.
The film Call Me By Your Name is most known for its final scene, where the protagonist is forced to deal with a heartbreaking loss, and literally spends the entire closing credits sequence crying. It's illustrative of how heartbreak can have a devastating effect on a person, and how much it can hurt the more its effect sinks in. Whether it’s romantic, platonic, or personal loss, the key is making it feel raw and real. You might be writing a story where your character experiences heartbreak, and want your audience to feel every bit of the heartbreak your characters are feeling. Here's are some tips on how to pull that off.
Make the audience care.
Heartbreak doesn't have any potency if the audience isn't invested in the character getting their heart broken. The reason why the ending of Last American Virgin worked so well is that you followed the protagonist's journey with his love interest and witnessed the lengths he went through to support her, and truly hoped she would see the value in him and make the right choice. Like with any other character-related development, it starts with creating and developing a well-rounded, nuanced character that readers take an interest in following around. Take time to establish not only who your character is, but why they are so invested that their heartbreak moment would devastate them so much. Do they fear lonliness? Were they traumatized by a previous heartbreak in their past? Are they projecting something onto the object of their desire? Do they have a mental illness that predisposes them to an attachment (look up reactive attachment disorder for more info on that)? Are they being manipulated into caring so deeply, and if that's the case then why are they falling for it so deeply? Get to the root of why your character feels the way they feel, and take time to build on that to the point where losing what they are attached to would truly devastate them, and the reader can feel that loss.
Actions speak louder
You can simply say a character's heart was broken, or you can use any or all of the cliches like "their heart broke into a million pieces." But chances are the reader won't feel the impact of just those words. You want the reader to experience the moment as if they were standing next to the character watching them go through it. And if you were standing next to them, you would see their physical reactions to it. You'd see shaking hands, crying, sniffling, futile attempts to compose themselves, gasping, getting weak-kneed, staring blankly, getting slackjawed, shaking their heads in denial, a forced smile that you know is phony. You can hear it in their voice, how the tone and inflection changes, and in their choice of words. Or better yet, put yourself in the place of the person experiencing the heartbreak. How is your body reacting to that? Does your chest tighten up? Do you feel a lump in your throat? How does your food taste now that your world has been shattered? Do you hear what people are trying to say to you in that moment, or does it just sound like noise? A devastating emotional blow has very real and tangible effects, and describing those can give added impact to that moment of heartbreak.
More than just a moment
True heartbreak takes longer than just a moment to get over. This is something that is going to affect your character for a while, so you need to show how this moment affects their attitudes and behaviors in the days, weeks, months and years following the moment of heartbreak. It affects your decision-making, like when Joel Barish makes the rash decision to have the memory of his girlfriend erased in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It affects your daily habits, maybe leading you to avoid places and situations that remind you of the thing that broke your heart. It affects your sleep. it affects your appetite. it affects your concentration. it might even reflect your memories of that object, that moment, and everything that led up to it.
More than anything else, it affects your other relationships, and your approach to relationships going forward. Would you be willing to get attached again and risk going through that heart-wrenching experience again? Would you think the experience of being that involved is still worth the trauma of heartbreak? Could you find yourself taking whatever anger, rage or embarrassment you felt at your heartbreak out on the next object of your affection? Would you shut down, lash out, seek distractions, or pretend that everything is fine? Heartbreak lingers, so take the time to really milk those emotions and use them as a vital part of developing your character.
Going forward, moving on.
Heartbreak changes people. Some become stronger. Some spiral. This is a crucial crossroads in how your character grows into their next phase of existence. If your story doesn't end with the heartbreak moment like Call me by your name and Last American Virgin, there is going to be an aftermath that gives you the opportunity to show your character's growth, either positively or negatively. It could be a process of healing - the TV show Dear John was entirely about the process of healing from a heartbreak. How does that process look? Conversely, the wound could never fully heal. How does that look? How does this change how the character sees the world and their place in it? You can get a lot of powerful moments out of how your character continues their life in the wake of their heartbreaking moment.
Conclusion
If handled with care, heartbreak can be one of the most memorable moments in your stories. It's a valuable tool for getting the maximum emotional response from your audience, so it would do you well to consider including it in your next narrative.
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